Kites, Dogs, and Puppets: Living in This Brain
You know what’s really hard about having a neurodivergent brain? A trauma-riddled brain? A dysregulated brain?
That I don’t get to choose.
I am merely a puppet on a stick.
A leashed dog.
Not in control, but going with it.
What will it be today?
A new hyperfixation that I haven’t even started yet, but still can’t stop researching?
Trying to relax but feeling so weighed down by guilt that no rest was had and tomorrow will be the same?
Feeling anxious all day for no reason that you can think of, until I realize later I just was tired/hungry/dehydrated/overstimulated?
Or maybe I will be having one of those days where I can just exist. As I am. Like a surfer on a wave. Like a kite…blowing in the wind. Still tethered, yes, but flying.
Not a puppet yanked by invisible strings. Not a dog fighting the leash.
Just me, moving with it instead of against it.
Accepting that as my reality is enough.
If you know this feeling, too- you’re not alone.
-the mom with the forehead tattoo
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