These are some of my saviors.
My hero’s. My MVPs. The ones that always have my back when I need it.
Fidgets.
Not just toys.
Not just for kids.
For anyone who doesn’t know…a “fidget” can be anything from a squishy stress toy, to a spinner, slime or putty, etc. Even a rock in your pocket or a necklace you play with could be a fidget – anything to keep your hands busy.
The goal isn’t to distract me it’s to help me stay present. Fidgets give my nervous system an outlet when I’m overstimulated, anxious, or trying to focus in an overwhelming space.
For me, they help turn down the volume of everything that’s too much (lights, noise, expectations, etc) and give me a way to ground myself, so I can actually think, process, and connect.
And sometimes they just help me get by.
For me? They are more than just a toy…They are an opportunity.
An accommodation.
A tool that helps me show up in spaces where I struggle to stay regulated.
Whether it’s an unfamiliar space, a loud one, a busy one, a bright one- it doesn’t matter.
I’m bringing a toy. Maybe even a few, depending on the occasion.
These fidgets (as I most often call them) are something I almost always have on me.
And over the past years I have gotten more comfortable using them whenever I need them.
At first, though? It was hard.
But it wasn’t always like this.
For a long time, I didn’t use tools or accommodations I needed. Not just because I felt like I wasn’t allowed to, but because I didn’t even know I could.
I didn’t know I was neurodivergent.
I didn’t understand my symptoms, my needs, or why I struggled so much in situations that seemed easy for other people.
So I pushed through. I masked. I melted down in private and kept showing up in public like everything was fine.
But it wasn’t fine.
The burnout, the overwhelm, the mental health spirals, even psychosis, it was all connected.
I just didn’t have the language or tools to understand it yet.
Now? I know better. I’ve learned what supports me…and I tell everyone.
Fidgets are just one part of that, but they matter. They help me regulate, focus, cope.
And I’m not hiding them anymore.
Because while they help me regulate my anxiety, nervous system, and also process information…
They also are a visible signal that shows everyone that I don’t fit in.
That I’m different. Abnormal.
Weird.
And yeah that definitely made me want to hide them. At first.
To be more palatable, more presentable.
But I’m done doing that.
I’m not going to abandon what supports me just to make other people more comfortable.
So now? I use them. And talk about them. And appreciate them for everything they do for me.
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