February 22, 2024
Some days I wake up with a memory on my mind; one I can feel but not fully recall. The sensation is similar to when there is a word on the tip of your tongue that isn’t quite ready to be spoken. You can almost taste the word falling out of your mouth, yet it’s nothing more than that feeling at this point. It is a frustrating experience, but hopeful and and promising all the same.
That’s how I felt yesterday morning, but instead of a word it was a recollection. Though I couldn’t quite recall what memory was triggering it – I could feel it’s effects nonetheless. I felt it in my core, it lived in everything I was doing.
As I got out of bed I felt it. As I pulled on my jeans I felt it. As I brushed my teeth, made my coffee, put on my sweater – I felt it all. And it felt good, great even. I felt free, I felt happy, I felt at home.
It wasn’t until I got to work that it all came back in a rush – this memory that was just itching to be remembered. But it was more than that; I was transported back in time.
We had spent the entire morning and afternoon climbing . With 50 extra pounds of gear on our bicycles, getting to the top of the mountain pass was quite the feat. The air was crisp with the lingering winter, and yet full of the promise of spring. There was clumps of sodden, muddy, unmelted snow laying in sparse heaps, some of it melted while other spots not willing to let go just yet. There were pine trees both upright and fallen over sprinkling the ground for as far as the eye could see. Mountains in the distance were complimented by the bright blue sky.
The air up there was thinner, yet filled with nuance. Here, we felt alone. Here, we felt free. Here, we felt at home.
We spent the next few hours exploring: looking for snow to melt into drinking and cooking water, searching for our favorite camp spot, finding a place to start a fire and hang the food bag after dinner.
Though our legs were tired from the treacherous ascent, our souls were set ablaze in this place that seemed to be our sanctuary. We stared together at the swirling fire, our legs and fingers intertwined while our hearts followed suit.
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